meghyn.

i am so sick and tired of you telling me what to do. like seriously, you have no room to be telling me what to do and how to live my life. i hate to say it but i have no reason to respect you. you don’t respect me. you don’t respect yourself. you’ve gone off the deep end into the abyss. you let yourself go. you’re unemployed and single. you can’t pay your bills. you take money from me. my own paycheck probably won’t be deposited into my own account because you just had to have my savings accounted attached to your’s. i am so irritated with you. you think you’re entitled to respect JUST because you’re a mother. hey, guess what. you aren’t entitled to shit from me. you ruined my childhood and developmental years. you consistently rip me apart. i will do what i want in life. it’s my life. not your’s. i will make my own fucking money. i will pay for myself. i will manage myself. i don’t need you i don’t really want you. if your own daughters don’t like you then wouldn’t you at least consider that there might be something amiss in you? like wow. whatever, here is today’s lesson. it is time to grow up. no matter how hurtful something may be it is time to move on. get over it. if it didn’t go your way then fuck it. move on… in the long run it shouldn’t have been important anyway. i am seventeen years old and less dramatic and more mature than you are. wow.

rachelwritten:

and everyone’s different.
In a selfish sort of way.

ranting and unsolicited words. 

1. people continue to fascinate me. i cannot fathom how people can be so infatuated with boys that they have never met (in this case, one direction), and honestly even if they do meet it won’t mean anything. there are millions of fans out there, all of which confuse the ever living daylights out of me. like how? why don’t they spend the time that they spend fawning over those boys paying attention and valuing the relationships they already have? i’m not trying to be offensive and there isn’t anything wrong with enjoying their music, but the whole ”fan-girl” thing is terribly confusing to me. and this is just one reason i hate girls. 

2. another reason i hate girls: they think that they are entitled to whatever the fuck they want. ha ha ha no. they take things too personally and are overly sensitive about things that aren’t even relevant to them. they have little capacity to move on from prior experiences - good or bad. they are manipulative and selfish. they think that they are much more mature than all boys and everyone else. news flash ladies, the world doesn’t fucking revolve around you. if you had any concept of the world and its people around you you would know that. you all reading this that think you’re the exception to my number 2, you aren’t. nor am i. i am manipulative and i am a girl. but unlike many i am actually able to admit that i am wrong; i am not a stuck up bitch.

3. & if you think that people should do what you want no matter how much it wouldn’t benefit them then you need to take a step back and grow the fuck up. you aren’t entitled to anything. take some responsibility for once in your life. in a few years you won’t have anyone there to tell you what to do or how to behave. the time has come to grow up. stop being selfish. no one owes you anything. being immature is not going to solve your problems and no one else is going to solve them for you. 

4. only you can control the way you feel. no one makes you feel a certain way. if you want to wallow in your self pity and depression than go for it. it’s not anyone else’s problem. 

5. forgive and move on. dwelling is not beneficial. here, let me be blunt about it: get the fuck over it. you gotta put your past behind ya. 

6. don’t make it difficult to be loved. if you are one of those people that are inconsiderate to the people that care about you and then you get upset when people don’t want to deal with it anymore then you should probably do some intense psychoanalysis upon yourself and grow up. acting that way is going to ruin your relationships… [on a personal note, i’m not gonna deal with the bullshit anymore. i’m pulling a douchepont. so unless we’re actually gonna put it behind us and not be nasty bitches about it i don’t want anything to do with it anymore.] 

7. always know who your true friends are. 

i love people. i love understanding people’s motives and behavior. i want to study anthropology and sociology and psychology in college. i want to go to the university of tennessee because they have a phenomenal anthropology program but it’s much too expensive because it’s out of state. so hopefully i will be accepted to ohio university or miami… i am feeling good about myself. i have high standards for my senior year. i am taking good classes and i have good teachers for those classes. i can’t wait to be a senior c: oh speaking of, the boys are graduating this weekend. i’m so proud of them; however i can’t believe that it was already three years ago that we became friends and talked about what it’d be like after they had graduated. time really does fly. and i’m so excited to spend time in oxford next year with them. i can’t wait for them to grow up and make their niches in this world. i hope they both end up happy. 

8. people grow apart. get used to it because that is how life works. acceptance is difficult but it’ll be okay. if you’re meant to stay together you will; if it’s meant to be it will be. 

things i’ve learned in the past year: 

- you’re responsible for yourself

- no one likes drama

- the past is not an excuse for your present actions and behaviors 

- the past is in the past. either you can learn from it or dwell in it. 

- finding your real friends will be beneficial when you experience tough times.

- smoking is bad but we do it anyway.

- love your friends as if they are your family… because they are. 

- junior year has lived up to everything it was meant to be: terrible.

- overcoming your hardships will make you stronger.